The article below is from a dear college friend of ours that resides in the deep south and truly challenges local church all over-starting with ours in Wooster-to practice greater empathy, intentional training, and thoughtful service to dear families blessed by God with a child on the autism spectrum. Please take one wise, gracious momma’s words to heart as we strive to be all things to all people for the sake of the Gospel.

(The featured picture of this post, with the family’s permission, is her precious, full of life autistic son Evan who has so much to teach us. Helps truly humanize this oft-overlooked demographic to whom Jesus calls us to serve up His Spirit-customized grace and truth doesn’t it?)

So she gets right to it…

All right….this post might upset some….if you don’t want to be upset, please skip this post….I understand. In everything I post, I try very hard to be as tactful and loving as I can be, and this post will be no different even though we will be discussing some very hard things.

Let’s get the hardest part out of the way first, and then hopefully we can circle back to something edifying and productive.

Just remember….1 in 31. As you read this, remember that 1 in 31 children in the United States gets diagnosed with autism. That would automatically mean there are more who do not get diagnosed. So let’s say it out loud…1 in 31

AND

There is no place for autism in the church…and by church, I mean the global church…not unique individual churches who have decided to be a light to these individuals and their families.

If you’ve read any of my latest posts, you will see that autism comes with many challenges. I believe that the CHURCH is largely unaware of these challenges and unintentionally ignoring a much needed ministry….ministering to those on the spectrum and their families. I would like to think it is due to ignorance rather than cowardice….but the more the CHURCH becomes aware of this need, the more responsibility it has to minister to these families and NOT ignore them! If you think my words are harsh, allow me to share just a few examples of what I mean. I will not share names or churches as I’m not out to single anyone out.

1. A single mother looked to a local church as an opportunity to be encouraged. She thought that maybe for 1 hour a week she could have the Word of God poured into her, and her son to be ministered to as well. She thought she could find respite in the church…only to find that after her first visit to the church she was asked not to bring her son back due to his “disobedience” in class. Rejected.

2. A mother and father decided to visit a local church. Their son, undiagnosed but most likely on the spectrum, was very disruptive in class, constantly fidgeting, interrupting, making noise, being distracted while being a distraction….way too energetic. One woman recognized the need of this child. She made sure she was always teaching the class he was in. She knew he needed to fidget and be active while learning. She taught him how to ask questions and to wait his turn. She praised his good behavior while redirecting his negative behavior. One day this woman had to miss church for some reason and could not teach. When she returned, the staff spoke to her about this child and said, “ You have to do something about him. You’re the only one who can control him! Control….

3. Another family took their child to church, only to be told they couldn’t accommodate their child’s needs in children’s church but that he could try to be apart of BIG church with his parents. Exhausted by the thought of trying to keep their child quiet and not disruptive, they left….never to return again. Dismissed….

4. I recently heard a story of a young man who was trying to integrate into children’s church. They happen to be playing games with balloons. This child had a fear about balloons popping and immediately started melting down over the game that hadn’t even started yet. The parents were called and told, “He just can’t handle being in here!” Confused because the child normally did well in church, they took him out. Later they found out about the balloon game. It was all a misunderstanding that could have been easily rectified if the child had been taken out during the game and given some other enjoyable activity to do. Misunderstanding…..

5. I’ve known of others whose children have been humiliated by the other youth with pranks being played or taunts being thrown. Humiliated…

6. I’ve seen children sitting alone because no one tries to engage with them. Lonely…

These are just a few examples, but I think you get my point. The ONE place that these families come with the hope of respite and encouragement…..they are rejected, dismissed, misunderstood, humiliated and alone. Why? That’s for the CHURCH to figure out.

Can you imagine what would happen if the body of Christ dug in and did the hard work….the very hard…sometimes dirty…and dare I say even painful work to learn how to minister to these families?

1 in 31…but it’s not just 1 in 31 is it? It’s actually exponential. It’s mothers, fathers and siblings. It’s a community that would run to those open doors who love and care for the 1 in 31.

I promise you. If a church decided to have a ministry catering to the needs of the 1 in 31, once the word got out, the walls would not be able to contain all those who would come. What an opportunity to share the gospel!

Let me ask you something. Who did Christ come to? He came to the deaf, lame and blind. He came to the demon possessed and the sick. He came to poor fisherman, despised tax collectors, and lepers. If Jesus crossed a raging storm-filled sea to seek out ONE demon possessed man to heal him and make a convert, what responsibility does the CHURCH have to seek out the lost and those so unconsidered? And do you know what happened when that man was healed? That man wanted to physically follow Jesus and be with him! Jesus gave him a different purpose and told him to go and tell his friend what great things the Lord had done for him. And Scripture tells us he did, and that all men marveled! Others were converted! Similarly, The Good Shepherd left the 99 to search for 1 lost sheep! Can we not specifically reach out and try to help the 1 in 31?! And don’t ever forget that Christ came for you, and me, and where would we be if He hadn’t? Jesus said that if we minister to the least of these we minister to Him. Is that not motivation enough!? And it’s exponential. To clarify…(because someone might accuse me of this) no, I don’t think individuals on the spectrum are demon possessed. I’ve seen that teaching, and it’s diabolical! I use the example of the demon possessed man because Christ sought him. Christ was an example to us to go through whatever necessary to reach the lost!

Again, I know that there are select churches who minister to autistic individuals and their families! I go to a church who is very welcoming and informed and loving to this group. However, as a whole, is the Body of Christ doing what it must to reach out to this group of people? I don’t think so.

Do I have all the answers! Absolutely not! Do I have ideas. Yes I do. Will they work! I don’t know. But I challenge you to pray about what your church can do to minister to the 1 in 31 and their families. It would take a deep desire to minister to these families, and it would take a great deal of training, effort and planning. It would take the body of Christ to work as one body serving the head which is Christ. It would take the Lord working wonders! But He is a God of wonders!

Alright….now to circle back and talk about some things I think that can initially be done in the church!

1. The fact that you are reading this is AMAZING and means you care and want to learn and help! This is the first step. We have to love those on the spectrum and their families and desire to learn more about how we can help them.

2. Churches could invest in products that have been known to help people on the spectrum such as noise canceling headphones, sensory toys, weighted blankets, and indoor equipment that helps them to be safe and active as necessary. There is so much I could suggest here.

3. Churches can send their staff and volunteers to specific training on how to help individuals on the spectrum. This training would cover things like how to help manage behaviors and how someone on the spectrum learns best. Honestly, I’m looking to even see if something like this exists for churches. If not, there is training on a professional level. It’s a commitment, but would be priceless training. It may even require hiring someone part-time who has professional training in this area.

4. One day, I pray that churches have Sunday School and Church classes specific to the needs of those on the spectrum so that they can learn about Christ our Lord AND allow the families to fully participate in church services and to receive respite. I pray these classes can work towards integrating these precious souls into regular services if possible, and if not possible, for those classes to always be there for them.

Ok….if you’re mad at me…that’s ok. You can share that with me. If you’re broken hearted over this lack in the church….let me know that too and let’s pray together about how we can change that. If you have questions for me about how you can help, private message me, and I would love to chat. If you have ideas about what can be done…tell me and help me brainstorm…please! Most importantly, let’s keep learning together and praying together!

Cathy, thank you for lovingly calling us out and insisting that we figure how to better serve and support this growing group of precious souls and families in every one of our local communities! This is definitely a conversation that must be expanded. Please feel free to add to her initial thoughts in the comments below what you are finding helps you as a family on the receiving end or a local church on the giving end.

My name is Catherine Lang, but my friends call me Cathy! I’m a child of God saved my grace alone through faith alone to the glory of God alone! My husband Zach and I have four beautiful children. Almost four years ago now, our youngest son Evan was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I realized then that the public understood so little about autism. One in thirty one children in the United States is diagnosed with autism. My prayer is that by sharing our journey, the love of Christ might abound more abundantly to those on the spectrum and their families.