How many dads have no clue what your kids are getting “from you” for Christmas? I recently saw this hilarious thought through the eyes of a kid, “My favorite part about opening gifts from ‘Mom and Dad” is that my dad is just as surprised to see what is inside as I am.” This has been for me, as the senior pastor who “should know everything going on/leading the charge,” the sensation I have regularly had with the prolonged absences that my son’s health journey has required in 2025.

Below are some thoughts I recently shared from Colossians 2 with about 45 of our church folks at the annual Volunteer Appreciation Dinner at a local Italian restaurant. When I read through this chapter of Colossians a few weeks ago, it brought tears to my eyes as I thought of those who would be in that room…the backbone of a local church that is bigger than any one person/couple…including the lead pastor and wife! 

To fight the false narratives that predictably feed upon absence, I want to affirm two ways in which faithful staff and volunteers can/should be appreciated in the life of a suffering leader…like me and to a much greater degree the Apostle Paul.

“I am with you in spirit-AFFECTION!”
Co 2:5a “For though I be absent in the flesh, yet am I with you in the spirit…”

As Hindson puts it, “Letters were meant as a surrogate for one’s presence while one was absent, as ancient writers sometimes pointed out. Saying that one remained with someone ‘in spirit’ was an expression of intimacy and affection.” The beginning of verse 5 shows how intimately aware of and engaged the Apostle Paul was to the commitments and perils navigated by the Colossians.

Back in verse one, Paul expresses how burdened in prayer he is for this group of believers who have never even seen his face. Wiersbe adds, “Verse 1 is a comfort to those who are never privileged/or limited for a season to engage in public ministry. It teaches that we need not be limited by what we can do in the presence of people. We can serve the Lord in the privacy of our rooms on our knees. Even if we do serve publicly, our effectiveness depends largely on our private devotions before God.”

Colossians is a “prison epistle.” (Paul was likely about 100 miles away, possibly in Ephesus, when he wrote to the Colossians, though some place him in Rome during his imprisonment.) With all that Paul already had pressing upon His spirit, His care for this local church was unabated. Therefore what they were and did, in absence, truly made a difference in his very soul!

On this point, I shared this with our volunteer team this week: “It would be easy to conclude from my absence at sporting events, graduation parties, and even funerals that Heidi and I have forgotten you with an “out of sight out of mind” approach…when nothing could be further from the truth.  I have prayed for you all more simply/consistently than in any other 12 month period in our church’s history…often the only active thing I, as a task-oriented person, could consistently do!

“I am with you in sight-ATTENTION!”
Co 2:5b “…joying and beholding your order, and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ.”

According to MacDonald, “Paul pictures himself as a military officer looking over the assembled troops as they stand ready for inspection. The two words order and steadfastness are military terms. The first describes the orderly array of a company of soldiers, whereas the second pictures the solid, unified front.” Without his direct, overt oversight Paul rejoices as he sees how the Colossians were staying true to the word of God. Nothing. I am telling you nothing blesses more a leader who has invested so much in teaching, preaching, and counseling of the Scriptures into their people that continue to be ordered by it!

Paul now makes clear His urgent purpose in verse 4. He fears that persuasive reasoning by other more-polished, less-challenged leaders in his absence will disrupt their order and steadfastness. These paired words are military terms conveying the thought of an enemy breeching a formerly solid formation of troops. Though I am not aware of any significant breeches in the ranks of North Life Baptist, I challenged our group this week, “We must all acknowledge where influences other than Christ-honoring, Christ-assigned ones have crept into our ranks during this year of tremendous pressure/flux. Trust me me on this: the worst thing you can do to a suffering leader is start following the wrong leaders/being the wrong leader; the best thing you can do for them is the opposite under the ultimate headship of Christ.

Though the Apostle Paul’s physical sight was likely very limited (“thorn in the flesh”), what little he had was largely focused upon and encouraged by what He heard/saw in this local church! Can spiritual leaders-especially in prolonged trials-draw fortifying strength/encouragement from the “snapshots” of your faithful walk and service? (One example of this that I shared was just getting word from the event coordinator at Mariola Italian, “Someone from your church was out earlier this week hanging invitations in our neighborhood and I am like, I know that church!”). Just doing the right thing without any need for micromanagement or recognition for yours truly!

To help this second thought land/resonate, I shared: “Have you heard the thought, ‘If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear, does it make a sound?'” It would be natural to conclude that everything you have been/done this past year matters less because the church leadership team has been a bit distracted/overwhelmed this year…when in reality IT HAS MATTERED MORE/GLORIFIED GOD MORE than ever!”

So how is our church not just surviving but thriving in one of its most challenging seasons to date, not just for the Snode family but many others in our ranks? Colossians 2:2-3 give us the abiding-to-every-generation-and-season answer, “That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” The answer is not “Harley” or whoever is supposedly at the top of the food chain as your church. It is the one who has had all the wisdom and knowledge to begin with, Jesus.

To help you understand why the sentiment in this more-rambling-than-usual post matters so much to your trial-riddled leader, Heidi and I sat in the same Italian restaurant last week and discussed-through waves of emotion-what a constant source of encouragement and faithfulness that our church staff/volunteers have been to us in helping our church keep steady and growing…with how little bandwidth we have had to invest in it ourselves this past year. On behalf of the suffering leader you may serve with who is unable to articulate their heart towards you, your family, and your church, may I say what I said to our local ministry partners: “As we finish up another year together in gospel ministry, please know—despite how much I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally elsewhere that—starting with those in this room—this ministry still has my…and more importantly God’s full AFFECTION and ATTENTION!